all posts after 2am and before 7am shall be forgiven.
being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
what do you mean setting myself on fire isn’t an acceptable way to burn calories
cat: places paw tentatively on boob
cat: presses paw down on boob
cat: slowly, agonizingly walks across boobs
- Me: I'm sorry
- Teacher: why?
- Me: I can't come to class today.
- Teacher: .... don't
- Me: because I have a piano recital
- Teacher: stop.
- Me: it's scheduled simultaneously at the same time
- Teacher: dang it. *sits at desk and writes poem* Crimson leaves. Falling.
- Me: what pen did you use to write that?
- Teacher: ask about the content of my poem
- Me: how old are you
- Teacher: I just want you to see my poem the way that Garcia Lopez De Cardenas saw the grand Canyon
- Me: I can't I'm from Boston
- Teacher: I am lucky
- American Education System: Cursive isn't important we can just stop teaching that.
- American Education System: *requires cursive on the PSAT test*
Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.
becoming self aware of your breathing and blinking is the worst thing